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Knock, knock. Who's there? Pain.
is the eleventh episode of the series. Synopsis Lopez repairs the Warthog, while Grif takes the blame for its destruction. Meanwhile, at the Blue Base, Tex uses Caboose for target practice, while ignoring Tucker's attempts at friendly conversation. Tex suddenly decides to leave in order to infiltrate the Red Base. During the attack, Tex sticks a plasma grenade to Donut's head and, in the ensuing chaos, also attacks Grif and Simmons. Transcript Grif: And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. Sarge: (exhales) Grif, do you have any Godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs? Grif: Ah, I don't know, what like uh, ten, ten twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, yeu, you're gonna kill me now, aren't you. Sarge: Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya. Lopez stops working on the jeep and stands up to face Grif Grif: Guys, I just want you to know. I'm really, really sorry here, and Lopez puts down his tool for a big gun Sarge: Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi. Grif: (backing away) Okay uh, I guess I better get going then. Lopez and Sarge look at each other, then turn and start firing at Grif Grif: Hey guys, that's not funny. Somebody could get hurt here. Cut to Tex on the blue base, with Tucker, firing at something Tucker: That's basically it sir, they have five guys over there and a big jeep. Tex: (reloading) And your flag. Tucker: Right, that too. Tex throws a grenade at something Tucker: Uh, hey, Tex? I don't know what it's been like at your other bases, but we try not to use other soldiers as target practice here. Camera pans, showing Tex has been firing at Caboose Caboose: I'm scared. Tex starts playing with various weapons, Caboose runs up to Tex and Tucker Tucker: So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point? Tex: (playing with a gun) Tucker: Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th- Tex runs off Tucker: Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later. Caboose: (whispering) I don't think he likes you. Tucker: Thanks. Tucker and Caboose run up to the edge of the base Tucker: Where are you going? Tex: Red base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back. Caboose: Uh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans... porter... Cut to Grif on the red base Grif: So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because somebody didn't believe in it. Simmons: Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges. Donut: Hey since I captured the flag, d'you think they'll give me my own color armor now? Simmons: What do you mean 'captured'? You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot. Donut: Still, you think there's a shot? Simmons: Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog. Grif: Hyeah, heh-wait... you don't... you don't think they'd do that, do you? Cut to Sarge watching Lopez fix the Warthog Sarge: Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingie over there. I think that's what's makin' that rattle. Lopez stands up and looks at Sarge Sarge: Ah think I'll let you do it. Lopez returns to work. Invisible Tex runs behind Sarge Sarge: What the... What was that? Cut to Grif Grif: Simmons, what's going on? What's over there? Simmons: (looking over the edge of the base) I thought I saw something for a second. Camera pans down to reveal invisible Tex, then cuts back to Grif Grif: Hey rookie, tuck the flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's goin' on. Donut: Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway. (dumps the flag in the middle of the base) Cut to Tex, then cut to Grif and Simmons looking off the edge of the base Simmons: Did you hear that? Grif: Yeah. Donut: (whispering) Hey! What's going on? Cut to Tex, who throws a plasma grenade up on to the red base, then cut to Grif and Simmons from behind. Grif turns around Grif: What the fuck? Cut to Donut, who has the plasma grenade stuck to his helmet Donut: What? Simmons: (turns around) What is that thing? Donut: What thing? Grif: There's something on your head... Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off! Simmons: No, it's not a spider, it's, like a... blue thing. Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off! Grif: It's not a spider, calm down. It's some kinda, fuzzy pulsating thing. Donut: That doesn't sound much better than a spider. Simmons: Does it hurt? Donut: No... Simmons: Maybe we should try to take it off. Grif: Good idea. Go for it. Simmons: Me? By "we" I meant "you." Asshole. Donut: Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous. Plasma grenade explodes, attached to Donut's head Grif and Simmons: Son of a bitch! Sounds of people being hit with the butt ends of weapons Grif: Son... where'd he go? More sounds of people being hit with the butt ends of weapons Grif: Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die! Video Category: Episodes Category: Season 1